I just received good news today...well actually... it was last night! My grandma from Aklan called last night, asking if we want to go on a vacation with our cousins to Boracay. She said she'll give me and AJ (my nephew) fare allowance to go. Of course my Mom and Dad will come but they will have to pay for their own fare.
We'll probably depart on the 14th of this month, that means next saturday. We still have one week to prepare. If this trip is sure, then this will be my first time going to Boracay! I am happy and excited about that but...
I have some issues and insecurities.
First, I will be hanging out with my cousins whom I haven't kept in touch with frequently since we were kids. Yes I see them in a family reunion but somehow I feel uncomfortable around them probably because of the long period of time we haven't spent with each other. I'm afraid of what they will think of me now that I still... haven't made a big leap in my life. While most them are newly graduates and working, I might as well be prepared for my aunts', uncles', cousins', and everyone else's questions about what I am doing and why I am still pending in my thesis project (there! I said it! Even though I swore to never say the word "thesis" again). *sigh*
Second, I’m not sure if I can interact well with other people other than the ones I always see. I tend to be extremely shy and sometimes I blurt out nonsense when someone tries to talk to me.
And third, last but definitely not the least; I can't use shorts and sleeveless shirts, let alone swimsuits. T_T I don't have a nice skin. I have lots of scars all over my arms and legs. My skin is white so all the more visible in the light. I think this is not a matter of confidence anymore. I just want to spare me from shame. Ayokong mapahiya noh!!! (trans: I don't wanna be embarrassed!!!) huhu... T_T
Oh well... whatever will happen to me in that coming short vacation, I think I will try to enjoy it while it will last.